Friday, February 4, 2011


Should first kisses be banned from door step drop-offs scenes?!?!?

What are you thoughts?

I ran into this awesome Article from the Mormon Times :D
(Cause seriously.... dating is fun to laugh at. Especially if you're not doing it!)

Let's discuss the doorstep scene. Not the actual physical gesture, that's between you, your date, President Kimball (in Von Harrison, 1985), and your roommate at the peephole. I mean the pivotal walk to the door which sets the tone for future interactions.

Occasionally, the spark is obvious: Before appetizers you both realize you planned this date in the pre-existence. At the doorstep you say you had fun and plan to do it again. Your conversation (or whatever) continues after you reach the door.

When the opposite happens (you both wish you'd been home alone watching "Antique Roadshow"), the scene is quite different. You part mid-sidewalk, and she fumbles for her keys while he hustles to the car. You're both relieved once separated by a locked door.

Unfortunately, feelings aren't always so obviously mutual: Maybe you played it too cool and gave him the wrong vibe; or you just wanted to get to know her, but now she's looking at rings. That's why the doorstep is crucial. Even when you're not sure how your date feels, the doorstep is the moment to clarify your intentions.

Let's consider two scenarios. First, suppose you had a good time.

You: "That was fun. Let's do it again sometime."

Your date responds offhandedly, "It was fun. Thanks." A quick hug, and goodbye.

Your date seemed to enjoy your company. What the mixed-signal just happened?!?

Tough call. Either she was deflecting your advances, or it was a glitch. Due to a combination of nerves and temporary insanity, I've personally botched many would-be romantic scenes when I was totally into the boy. Unless her roommate's giving you inside information, you'll have to assess the situation based on your next encounter.
Now, the opposite scenario. Your date was charmed by your company; you were charmed by the movie (all 125conversation-free minutes). The scene goes like this:

Date: "I really had fun. We should do it again."
You: "Me too. We really should."

Ahem. Wasn't that a tad dishonest? You did not "really have fun." You faked a nose bleed during dinner and claimed it took a half hour to stop (just biding time in the bathroom).

When you give this kind of mixed signal, you've no right to be surprised when your date wants to go out again. Unless you're hoping to spend another evening hiding in a public bathroom, try being a touch clearer. Obviously you won't say, "I'll have a cerebral aneurysm if I hear another story about your cat's diarrhea. So, let's not do it again." But, you can gracefully decline with, "It was nice getting to know you. Thanks again." Your hint may be lost on someone who spends that much time with a cat. But you tried.

Despite promising to nix the physical, I must say this: Unless your face, neck and upper arms are infected with a contagious parasite, shaking hands to end a date says at least one of the following: 1. I returned from my mission a week ago and need at least a month to develop enough social skills to be alone with a member of the opposite sex without making us both uncomfortable 40 percent of the time; 2. I find you so repulsive that I'm willing to make physical contact with only the 6-square-inch surface of my right hand, which I'll now go inside to sanitize and ex-foliate; or, at least, 3. Don't call.

If this isn't what you're after, consider a hug. (In case of the aforementioned parasite, please see a dermatologist before putting anyone else at risk. They have balms for these things.)

Julia Shumway, 26, grew up in a "Wonder Years-like bliss" in Centerville, Utah, and served a mission. She graduated from BYU and now works for state government. She says she'll focus her blog on dating things that generally apply to everyone.

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