Last week I did a little journaling exercise where I wrote down where i'd bee in 5 years if I didn't get healthy and continued to gain weight. Then, I did an entry of where i'd be in five years if I DID. It was a helpful if not somewhat dramatic experience that opened my eyes to really how much our eating habits can affect our future, one another, or relationships, or children and the quality of our lives. After doing so I set some goals in the following areas; weight loss, fitness, emotional, and nutrition. I bought a brand new journal that was spiral bound to track my caloric intake in. I started that on Saturday and have been doing pretty well. I've made a few little mistakes along the way but one thing that i've come to realize is that my all or nothing mentality- when it comes to eating heathy is a major roadblock. For example- Cookies. If I eat a cookie and then eat another cookie… then i've blown my day! So, logically, (????!) I must eat all cookies so I do not have to see them and "ruin" tomorrow. Doesn't that make PERFECT sense?!?! No. It's cray cray. So I am striving to let go of this perfection mentality in that I don't beat myself up for mistakes, and don't expect any day to be perfect. I may go out for dinner and order something I thought was less calories only to discover the dressing and cheese were not accounted for and that puts my over my daily goal. So? So tomorrow is a new day, I didn't know. And that's OK. Another thing i'm trying is to not deprive myself. I LOVE treats. Am I going to live my life without having them once in a while? No. It's just not realistic, so i'll calculate them into my cal intake, have only one, or a healthier version, or just a bite, maybe walk a while longer to burn some extra cal's that day and move on with my life. Not beat myself up about it, not binge, not feel deprived or punished… and not quit because...t's all about moderation and learning to live in the real world and to enjoy the real world. And improving my relationship with food. So so far, since I started my little food journal i'm down 4 lbs., 7 since we lost the baby. I know some of it is water weight and I waited until it had been 2 weeks before I started tracking things. I have noticed the days that I walk I lose more and that motivates me to go further and get moving more. I still have pain some days from the D&C and caught a viral flu deal so I haven't walked today. Hopefully I'll post more about successes! I plan on it.