Past Epiphany

You know those moments when you discover something about yourself? An epiphany of sorts, of what you need or need to do? I had one of those a few months ago… and then COMPLETELY FORGOT about it. Luckily I blogged it… FYI people this is why journaling is awesome. You can grow tenfold when you're reminded of those times in your life when God shed a little light, all as a big picture.  Lately I see it in my blogging, which has in many ways replaced some of my journaling.  I was going back and reading through some posts a week ago and ran across one i'd made as a reflection of watching an episode of Extreme Weight Loss.  (BTW i'm not 100% in love with their methods or un realistic goals that often set the people up to fail or use extreme methods.) The girl on the show was not eating enough in order to meet goals and Chris Powell had her set physical goals instead. Anyway I realized that that's what i'd needed to do and then forgotten completely about it as I got caught up in my weight loss goals and  charts and scale. So I need to get back to setting those fitness goals instead. And come up with a time frame to meet them in. I'm going to look a jogging stroller sometime this week! And I had Danny hide the scale and i'm only going to weight 2x a month, and I wrote down my measurements. I hope though that I find better ways to still  be accountable to myself outside of just my weight. Through my food journal is one way. Speaking of… I need to make up our weekly menu and grocery list!

As you know we lost our baby about two months ago. I haven't mentioned it again but it's still a  challenge. Still grieving. This week a few couples that were due around when we were found out the gender of their baby. It's been really hard. Knowing an announcing the gender just solidify's so much those dreams you have for that child and your family unit with them in it. I'm starting to look forward to moving in a few months for that reason alone. And as selfish as it sounds I hope we move before they're born. It's been hard to see the pregnant bellies and hear the gender announcements but I know that seeing the actual baby will be even harder. I know it will always be hard to see children that age.

I tried baking a clean and healthy breakfast cookie this weekend.  And almost caused the death of my child in the process!
It had banana, oats, egg, crasins… idk other healthy stuff.. and almonds. Oh! And some chocolate chips just to make them edible. I gave one to Rowan without giving it much thought. He was so hungry he started snarfing them. Anyway he ended up choking on one of the almond chunks! I was sitting there watching him making sure he DIDN'T choke because i'd noticed him trying to swallow something he obviously hadn't chewed or mashed with his little gummies. I was kicking myself for putting the almonds in or not picking them out of his, sure enough… he was ok though. He swallowed it and coughed some and cried a little and was fine. Sigh. If we make those again they'll be nut free!

No Leftovers!

Last night we were supposed to have leftover lentil soup for dinner. Thaaaat didn't happen.  It was really yummy! And I was excited to have a new recipe that was vegetarian and diabetic friendly turn out so good, but poor Danny bit into a clove and that turned him off to the stuff. Then I had visiting teach right at 6 and by the time I finished we were both starving and wanted nothing to do with the leftovers… but wanted everything to do with our favorite mexican food restaurant on that side of town. I'm not mad at myself for eating it i'm just … irritated because it wasn't worth it. I had done so well for the rest of that day and our mexican food caused me to gain a full pound. Ya. Really, my body is like that. I will gain an entire pound in one day if I go over my calories or indulge in even a little bit of whatever.

Today I only ate foods within my good food list but lost track of my calories. And for some reason I was SO HUNGRY all day! So i'm not sure where i'm at exactly but we had chicken cabbage salad for dinner and I have a pretty good feeling i'm on the safe side for today. Cabbage is my friend.  I can eat lots of it and it is just crazy low in calories.

You know all of those people that say you can eat whatever you want and lose weight because "Oh I just counted the calories and bla bla .." well I think that's crap. Because if I give up lunch for a treat that's high in calories i'll be too hungry. If I eat 3 meals a day and two snacks all packed with nutrient rich, low calorie, good foods that my body needs to be healthy there isn't any ROOM for any of that stuff in my daily calorie limit! Just saying.

I walked with Rowan again this morning.  I had some wardrobe malfunctions that made it interesting.  I wore spandex pants that'd been too stretched out running errands the day before and so they kept falling off haha! It is so difficult to admit how out of shape I am.  I have truly been too lazy. Ya, I can point to lots of reasons for being that way… but.. I don't want to anymore.  I walked with him for 30 min. Just walked. And I was exhausted. I decided that this time i'd walk as quickly as possible and walk until I felt super pooped… and THEN i'd turn around. So that i'd have to push myself to keep going and get back home! I feel that the stroller pulled me. I I thought about sitting on the side of the road in some shade a couple of times, but I didn't … man! I see people much bigger than I am who have so much more endurance and strength than I do! It's abosolutely discouraging and disheartening. But I really am determined to keep at it. 3x a week. Just work on getting out there that often. I tried to do some sprints again today but we don't have a jogging stroller and it didn't handle going quickly well at all. The wheels would vibrate.  I found a decent one on Craig's list for 40$ I am going to go look at when we get paid. Oh! So I picked something up along the side of the road during our walk today! A hardback copy ofThe Lord of the Rings! I kind of laughed and had the thought that it was God's way of rewarding me for my efforts. And then my very next thought was.. how did this really get here? Did one kid throw another kids book out of the bus window? hmm…
I got an infection again and have been on an antibiotic that makes me pretty sick. I have to take it in the morning and at night. I had been doing so well at avoiding antibiotics. Sigh. Anyway I realized that when I felt like I may hurl on our last walk it was probably the meds. So I waiting to take them until after our walk today. I mixed up some overnight oats in an almost empty almond butter jar to enjoy when I got home too! Silly Rowan. I fed him blueberry pancakes before we left and he didn't touch them. But as soon as we get home he was picking up his cereal from yesterday off of the floor and munching it! Sigh.. I guess it's really my fault it's there anyway haha!

I've taken a few pics of myself, last week and this week. Even though my weight hasn't gone down a lot I feel like my stomach isn't as bloated and big.  And I could see it in the pics so that's progress!

Rowan has been enjoying our morning walks. I feel better getting him out of the house. He's always so devastated when we get home and I put the stroller away in the closet. He's devastated a lot lately. If you set him down, tell him no, go to the bathroom, shut a door, don't let him mess with the dials on the dishwasher… oh boy. Danny keeps pointing out that he plays me a lot. Throws a fit and looks for my reaction. I feel like i'm getting mean though … because I tell him he can't have or do things and then he throws a fit and I ignore it. Sigh. It's that age. I want so badly for him to start using more signs.  He know's "all done" and does the sign and says it sometimes too. Tonight at dinner he was yelling from his chair because he'd finished. I told him to use his all done sign and showed him "all done all done!" He looked at me. Looked down. Thought about it.. thought about it… tried screaming again… and then finally did it.  So that's progress I guess. I  want him to see that he get's results when he makes the effort to communicate with sign instead of screaming. Boys. Love him.

Danny has started working nights. It is nice to have the car during the day but having him here sleeping makes my days feel weird. I'm less motivated in being productive. It feels like a sleepy saturday or something. And he's been irritated that he doesn't have down time. Hope it doesn't last long. 

One Stumble at a Time

I'm learning so much about myself. In the past my weight loss efforts have been sporadic and extreme. Now, as I try to truly find the balance in living life in a healthy way I discover that there's a lot of up and down, trial and error, and small improvements along the way. Not being obsessed with being perfect in my dieting and calorie counting every day and switching my mindset has been a challenge but i'm progressing. Yesterday I ate well, tracked my calories and then … we wen't to Moe's for dinner.  I learned a few things. If i'd just eaten my chicken whole wheat tortilla burrito I would have still stayed within  my daily cal amount, even if i'd had queso I would have barely been over.. it was the fried corn chips that were the problem. I went home, looked up how many calories i'd ingested and just about died documenting the 800 calorie chips in my food journal. But,  I said well- I learned 2 things.  1- I need to google the calorie's of foods BEFORE I eat them and 2- Now I know. Now I know what i'm doing to my body when I eat them and next time I will do better. Mistakes are learning opportunities and I learned. Now, back to the perfection mentality; last night after discovering how badly i'd bombed and decided to make it a positive learning experience I still had that little voice in my head saying "Hey you totally screwed up this day. Epic fail. This day was a fail. So lets go indulge in something yummy and start over tomorrow!"

But there is no "Starting over." There is only today, and tomorrow's body reflecting all of my yesterday's decisions. There's only today and now.

Another thing i'm coming to realize is that no matter how many obstacles are in my way to being healthy… if I truly want to eat well and exercise i'll find a way. Anyone can come up with dozen's of real reasons (obstacles) that make it difficult to live healthily but if we're truly determined we'll find a way to do all we can do.  Whether that's spending more money on healthy foods and cutting money elsewhere or getting outside to exercise even though you have terrible allergies that make you ill. If I want to i'll find a way.

I am working on changing how I view food as well.  The more I learn about nutrition and calories the more I see food as fuel and nutrients.

I watched Forks over Knives and Veducated last night.  It was interesting to see how much research showed that animal products promoted cancer growth. I came to the conclusion that  we should try to follow the word of wisdom more honestly in relation to how much meat we eat. The scriptures say meat is for men but that we're to be grateful and kind to God's creatures and to eat meat sparingly. Veducated's footage of what's done to animals in slaughter houses and on mass producing farms was truly disgusting. But knowing that we are supposed to eat meat i'm not sure what to do with that information. I think when we are able to we will make more of an effort to purchase meats from local butchers and buy eggs from local farmers. It's truly disturbing and I support all laws that are in place to ensure humane methods of slaughter. Our society has little respect for life, no matter how small. Animal or human in it's early stages. I hope that the more people become aware of this problem the more likely the humane law's will be enforced.


This past week we tried a few new foods. Tofu Taco's was on the list for a vegetarian dinner. I've neve eaten tofu… So I  did my research and purchased, pressed and prepped our tofu for taco's. It was disgusting. I hated the texture and will NOT be eating that again anytime soon. Ever.

I made Italian turkey burger meatballs and marinara sauce over spaghetti squash for sunday's dinner.  I had been nervous to try this one since i'm not a huge fan of squash. It turned out AMAZING. I couldn't believe how yummy it was an wondered why I'd ever eaten regular spaghetti in the first place! Especially being pre-diabetic. The difference in calories was crazy. One cup of spaghetti has 220 cal and the squash had 31! Yeah! Awesome right?

One of my goals is to become part of that elite group of human's they call "runners." I've read a lot of material on how to get started and am working towards it. Today I added short sprints! And almost died. But, I didn't die, and plan doing that 3x a week. One stumble at a time. Huffin' and Puffin'. Red faced and sweaty. YES. 

My Favorite Protein Pancakes

I've tried a few clean protein pancakes and this recipe is by far my favorite. It's low calorie, whole grain, gluten free, and easy to make!  It's berry season so I'm still posting recipes that include blueberries, have to get those little antioxidant rich fruits in. Of course by the time I thought of taking a pic I was half way through eating them… once again, next time!

Oat N' Berry Filling Protein Pancake 

1 Cup Rolled Oats 

1/2 Cup Unsweetened Applesauce

2 Eggs 

1 Scoop Vanilla Protein Powder

1/8  tsp cinnamon 

1/4 tsp vanilla

1/3 Cup Almond Milk

1 tsp baking powder 

1 Cup blueberries 

Grind rolled oats in a blender or food processor to make oat flour. I just throw them in my Ninja. Add remaining ingredients and mix until combined. Heat griddle or frying pan to 350, spray pan with cooking spray before cooking. 

The batter is about 700 Cal total, I was able to get 5 decent sized pancakes out of it. 140 Cal each. 

Reward Myself!

I've set some new goals from where i'm currently at, I've bounced around too much over the last few weeks so I decided to just set my goal rewards from where I currently am. I still have the go see Maleficent after losing 10 lbs from my current weight goal reward… ah here she is.. :) 

And! I thought of something I really really want and almost purchased for myself today before I realized… I didn't really deserve it haha so I decided a Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bag satchel would be my -25 lbs from my starting weight prize! Isn't it lovely? I don't know why these make me drool but… just look at it! I'm so tired of hauling my no shape army bag that I  can't put in the wash and purse everywhere.  The army bag is very sentimental, my mom made it for me from Danny's pants while he was deployed, but, its looking a little worse for wear and the velcro ruins a lot of my clothing by snagging them. I'm actually excited to work towards getting one! I hope this will help me stay motivated. I printed off a picture of it with my goal weight next to it and put it on my weight loss chart. :)  I've been thinking about making Saturday mornings  kind of a ritual of weighting instead of every day. But I think I need one in the middle of the week too to keep me honest. Meh.

I am really loving overnight oats. But I can't figure out how to get the calories down while still getting in protein, healthy fat, whole grains and a fruit for breakfast. And still have it be edible. The problem with my favorite Peanut Butter Cookie Overnight Oats is the peanut butter… SO many calories AH!

But just look…

Lovely & delicious. 

I did Zumba again today… after trying to put Rowan down for a nap so there was a lot of back and forth because he decided he wasn't quite ready to go down. Then he laughed at me and pulled my glasses off while I tried to do some toning on the floor to cool down.  I got the steps better this time but still pooped out a few min before the end.  I need to go back to the beginners DVD and learn the moves. I also pinned lots of workouts for the obese on Pinterest. Don't judge. Haha  I own this huge DVD set of Zumba. I am finally realizing that if I really really want this i'll do it, despite all of the obstacles. And… that it's less about weight and food than it is emotional wellness, or un-wellness that manifests itself in twinkles. Well, I don't really eat twinkles but you get the idea.

What I DO Know!

I totally fell off of the bandwagon RIGHT after posting my "i've lost 8 lbs" thing a couple of weeks ago. I thought, "Well,  I have a whole week to lose 2 lbs and meet my goal" and then of course I slacked off, my weight went up, we partied too much, ate too many treats and didn't move enough and now i'm back up about 5 lbs from the 8.  I've lost my food journal too! This is a real problem… so I started using spark people yesterday (again) to start tracking my calorie intake and ran into the same problem (again) with having trouble tracking the foods that I cook from scratch. I rarely measure and even when I do it's like ok, this much in a whole recipe divided by how many servings and how much I ate? Oh.. and then I added a little extra? Well what's a serving of this thing I concocted? IDK.

What I do know is this-

*Fill half of my plate with veggies
*Eat plenty of fresh fruits
*Eat lean proteins
*Drink lots of water
*Fit in plant based protein
*Eat fresh fruits every day
*Eat a rainbow
*Eat healthy fats… but not too much,  this one is hard for me...
*Check packaging for portion size
*No seconds
*Slow down on eating
*Move your butt
*Chew more slowly
*Eat whole grains
* Build muscle

 I made whole wheat bread sunday to help us get in our whole grains and extra fiber, I think it's been a little rough on Rowan's tummy even though he loves it. That boy is never regular lol. I still usually start my day's out healthy, like my yummy Blueberry Veggie smoothie I posted a few days ago. And tonight and last night I cooked a healthy dinner that was on the weekly menu. Well, last night I did! Tonight I found that I hadn't gotten to my cabbage fast enough! It had little black moldy spots!!! EW. So I cut them off and realized I didn't have enough good parts left to make what i'd intended. So I improvised and we had black bean and coleslaw taco's.  They were DELISH. Really. I wish i'd taken a pic! I'll  try to remember to tomorrow when I have leftovers.

Yummy Clean Coleslaw and Black Bean Taco's 

Coleslaw
1 Small or 1/2 Large Cabbage- shredded
2 shredded carrots
1/4 red onion
1/2 Cup apple cider vinegar
1/4 t. salt
1/4 t. pepper
1/2 Cup plain greek yogurt
2 TBS Honey

Grate cabbage and carrots, or chop finely, chop onion finely, stir in remaining ingredients. Chill.



Black Beans
2 Cans Black Beans
1 Tbs Lime juice
Dash Salt
Dash Pepper
6 Cilantro leaves
2 Tbs Salsa
1 t. Cumin
dash cinnamon

Drain and rinse black beans (if using canned beans) Stir together and heat over stove.

Warm corn tortilla's in frying pan with a little bit of oil.

Build taco's on a corn tortilla-  Black Beans, Coleslaw, cheese, (optional), salsa, avocado, cilantro, lime! YUM.

Anyway. I did Zumba this morning. It was embarrassing for all of us. (The TV, Couch, various decor items and area rug were all embarrassed by how difficult it was because i'm so out of shape.) But  I did it. And then I meditated for a while, did a belly wrap ( which did nothing for my belly) and drank LOTS of water. Then tonight after dinner Danny and I took bubba for a little walk. It was a decent day.

Oh, in an effort to slow down my meals a little bit and to keep Rowan interested in his own so I don't feel so rushed i've started playing music while we eat lunch together. I love how he can't help but move to the rhythm and I try to share different styles of music with him. It's exciting to see how happy he is when he hears music.

Blueberry Veggie Smoothie

I've been having this yummy smoothie for breakfast over the last couple of weeks! Blueberries were on sale and it's a full of fiber and foods packed with nutrients! But,  I will warn you... if you're not used to a fiber rich diet your bowls may protest.

Blueberry Veggie Smoothie

1/2 Cup Almond Milk
1 Cup Blueberries
1/4 Avocado
1 Cup baby Spinach
1 Tbs Chia Seeds
1 Scoop Protein Powder
7 Ice Cubes


Calories: 270
Fiber: 27 g

Meal Plan Week A and Grocery List

Meal Plan Week A

Monday

B: Overnight Oats- Pumpkin Spice

http://rabbitfoodformybunnyteeth.com/pumpkin-pie-overnight-oats/

( I added protein powder because I didn't use soy milk.)

L: Black bleans, rice, veggie

http://cafejohnsonia.com/2013/02/how-to-slow-cooker-black-beans.html

D: Southwest Taco Salad With Cilantro Lime Dressing http://www.thegardengrazer.com/2013/04/southwestern-chopped-salad-with.html

Tuesday

B: Egg whites and avocado on whole wheat toast

L: Leftover Southwest Taco Salad

D: Spicy BBQ Chicken Pizza and side spinach salad

(Mine is similar to this, I use regular bbq sauce and add some spicy grill seasoning and we don't put peppers and do add olives.)

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/bbq-chicken-pizza/

Crust:(I use whole wheat flour, omit ¼ of it and add some falx)

http://megisms-momskitchen.blogspot.com/2012/10/kenyons-pizza-dough.html

Wednesday:

B: Greek Yogurt, granola and blueberries parfait

L: Avocado and creamy swiss on whole wheat toast

D: Black Bean Veggie Burger, sweet potato fries, watermelon http://backtoherroots.com/2010/08/09/homemade-black-bean-burgers/

Thursday:

B: Scrambled Eggs, Side of watermelon

L: Leftover BBQ chicken pizza and Salad

D: Baked Turkey Burger Egg Rolls http://www.steamykitchen.com/13029-my-mothers-famous-chinese-egg-rolls-2.html

Friday:

B: Peanut butter cookie overnight oats http://dashingdish.com/recipe/peanut-butter-cookie-overnight-oatmeal/

L: Black Bean and Cheese Quesadilla's , top with avocado or fresh guacamole.
 http://www.eatingwell.com/recipes/black_bean_quesadillas.html

D: Chicken Cabbage Salad

http://megisms-momskitchen.blogspot.com/2012/07/chinese-chicken-cabbage-salad.htm

Saturday:

B: Oatmeal Banana Muffins

http://fitandhealthywithdebbie.blogspot.com/2012/10/banana-oatmeal-breakfast-muffins.html#.U5Xqi6XvZuZ

L: Leftover Cabbage Salad

D: Orange chicken and broccoli over quinoa

http://addapinch.com/cooking/2014/01/07/skinny-orange-chicken-recipe/

Sunday:

B: Cold Cereal Granola side of fruit

L: Leftover Orange chicken

D: Oven Roasted chicken, Potatoes, and Carrots in Ranch seasoning

(here's a link it's the same idea.)

http://hungryhugheys.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/one-pan-meal/

Grocery List: 

(Seems like a lot  but you probably already have most of it.)

Dairy/Meats:

Almond Milk

Greek Yogurt (plain)

Eggs

Chicken Breasts

Pepperjack Cheese

Creamy swiss (lite laughing cow cheese wedges)

Ground turkey

Fruits:

pumpkin puree

Banana

Watermelon

Blueberries

1 Orange

Vegetables:

Romain Lettuce

1 Orange bell pepper

1 Green Bell Pepper

Cherry tomatoes

Frozen Corn

Green Onions

Avocado

Olives

Cilantro

Red onion

Spinach

Cucumber

Carrots

Green Onion

Yellow Onion

Sweet Potatoes

Cabbage

Mushrooms

Broccoli
potatoes

Grains:

Dry Beans

Oats

Whole wheat bread

Whole wheat Flour

Buns

Chicken Ramen

Granola

Spring Egg Roll Wrappers

Whole grain tortilla's

quinoa

Nuts/Seeds:

Chia seeds

sunflower seeds

Peanut Butter

Spices/baking:

Pure Maple syrup

Pumpkin Spice

Lime juice

Garlic cloves

Olive Oil

White Vinegar

Red wine Vinegar

Rice vinegar

Bbq sauce

Spicy grill seasoning (chicken)

Yeast

Chili Powder

Cumin

Hot sauce

Soy sauce

cornstarch

sugar

salt

pepper

ginger

honey

baking soda

salt flax seed

Vanilla

Ranch seasoning

Down 8 lbs!

YAY! I'm so excited to say that i'm down 8 lbs. My goal for each month is around 8 lbs but I am shooting for 10 for the first month because i'd lost a couple after the miscarriage and before I started eating better again. If that makes sense. But i'm on track to make my goal for the month, 10 lbs by the 15th, I have a week and a half to lose 2 more! My first goal reward, if I meet my goal weight by the 15th of June, is seeing Maleficent!  I was just excited and had to share!

Avocado Smoothie

Yesterday went well. I stayed within my calorie zone, and I experimented on a few new recipe's I mentioned in my last post.  I'm eating lots of avocado lately, probably more than I should. I got a big bag of them at Costco and all of the sudden they're all ripe so I have to eat them! NOW! Haha, so I thought i'd share my meals with you from yesterday.

Breakfast: 2 Scrambled eggs and fruit

Snack: I didn't have one… I wasn't hungry lol

Lunch: Light creamy swiss, sliced avocado and
salt and pepper on whole wheat toast, Steamed broccoli, and fruit.  Doesn't it look delicious? IT  WAS.

Snack: Avocado smoothie! I'm so excited this turned out so yummy. My avocado was perfectly ripe too, I think that helped. I looked around at a few recipes and came up with my own concoction. It could have been a teensy bit sweeter, you can add some honey or agave if you want.  I chose not to.  I'm not just saying it was good. It really was. It was so fluffy and rich. -1/2 Avocado, -1 Frozen Banana, -2 T cocoa ( I have the cheap kind, if you have hershey special dark or a better quality cocoa you may want to try just one Tbs.)  -1 tsp Vanilla, -1/2 C. Almond Milk, -1 Tbs. Almond butter, ice                    

Dinner: Crock pot teriyaki chicken over quinoa, I know I got this idea from pinterest… but I can't find a link for you or anything, and I didn't really follow the recipe. It has pineapple, carrots, chicken and broccoli. For seasoning I used garlic, ginger, lemon, rice vinegar, soy sauce, salt and pepper. 

Then last night I put together some overnight oats, peanut butter cookie flavored, they were a lot better than my previous tries at overnight oats.  Here's the link

http://dashingdish.com/recipe/peanut-butter-cookie-overnight-oatmeal   

Oh, and they were only 300 cal, and I have been full enough to not need a snack before lunch. 

Two Weeks

I started over eating healthy on the 17th of May, that first week went really well! It wasn't easy but I did my best to count cal's and do some kind of physical activity almost every day.  Shooting for consistency, habit and success.  I lost 6 pounds the first week, actually 6 days, THEN we went to Florida for memorial day weekend. I knew and expected that this would throw things off.  But that's life, you go on vacations, you share birthday cake with family and then you get back to life. I did better the first couple of days when we were able to choose meals. When we got back I had gained 5 lbs, in 4 days! I was sad but I hoped that most of it was water weight and got back on track.

We have been home a week now and I haven't yet reached where I was when we left for Florida, it hasn't come off nearly as quickly as that first week… strange. I've bounced up and down a little through the week. I didn't reach my weekly goal by about 2 lbs. We went to dinner Friday night with a group from Danny's work to celebrate a promotion, that set me back about a pound and a half again. I was surprised because I had barely eating any of my dinner, even though it was whole wheat pasta. But, i've  tried to stay positive and keep up my food journal. The days I lose track of calories and go over or don't exercise at all I don't lose and usually gain. It's hard to track calories when  I cook everything from scratch and often don't measure!  So anyway, still working on it! I hope to meet my monthly goal even if I didn't make my weekly one. I'm shooting for consistency and to continue trying, no matter how long it takes. It took time to put the weight on and I have to be patient with it  coming off. I can look at my week and say, hey I bounced around and lost one pound instead of two, but, I LOST one, instead of gaining one. Or more. And I'm stronger, have more energy, have been eating foods that are better for my body and provided healthy meals for my family. I have gone to bed proud of myself and been much happier and more organized, you have to be organized to do this.  I don't like weighing every day and know this can be unhealthy but for now with trying to figure out what balance of food "works" for my body I have to be aware of how what i'm putting into it is effecting me, ignorance leads to weight gain and lots of it in my case.

One thing i've noticed with with upping my protein and fiber is… bloating! My poor tummy one night looked like i'd swallowed a basketball! It was hard to the touch and painful. I poked around a little bit online and this is common for people who switch to a more clean and whole diet.

We are making Tuesday nights "gym night." And Saturdays as well.  My plan is that doing so will make me get out there and go to the gym for once. We have been paying for a membership for a few months now and gone ONCE.  I try to walk with Rowan most days but it's been getting hot pretty early! And so humid! I put on one of my work out dvd's the other morning and that didn't go too well, I only got in about 10 min with Rowan under foot, clawing at my pant leg, crying, getting stepped on and kicked (accidentally of course!)… we'll figure it out.

Some days I am better at eating all whole and raw than others. And then some days I just want a chocolate chip cookie. I try to drink as much water as I  can, I added cucumber, lemon, strawberries and a dash of cinnamon the other day! It tasted good (cinnamon is supposed to help regulate blood sugar and boost your metabolism.)

We had Spicy Bbq Chicken Pizza last night. The only thing "bad" in it was the bbq sauce.  I made the crust with whole wheat flower and added some flax seed. It was a little tough but thin so it was a nice crunch. Most people top this with fresh cilantro and red onion.

 

 If you didn't know already that Danny and I are mexican food junkies here's the first clue. I made fresh guacamole with avocado, greek yogurt, onion, lime and green chili's. We had black bean quesadillas one evening with fresh salsa and guacamole. Then for the next couple of days I ate black beans, guacamole and salsa over greens for lunch. SO good. Ugh, the guacamole was my downfall.  I ate way too many chips in the name of "not letting it go bad!" YUM.
 This was one vegetarian meal I came up with, I hope to try some more soon.









Tonight I am going to try Pineapple Chicken Teriyaki in the crock pot. With carrots and broccoli over quinoa. We got a pineapple from Costco last week, finally cut it up this weekend but it wasn't a very good one :(. I've since learned how to pick a better pineapple! I need to use it though so adding it to a teriyaki dish is what I came up with.  Cooking from scratch takes a LOT of work and time. I'm trying to simplify things. Tonight I may put chicken, pineapple, carrots, and broccoli in the freezer to make teriyaki another evening. I plan on doing the same when we do a stir fry later this week.

I'm going to try an avocado chocolate smoothy today for lunch! We'll see how that goes lol.

We tried overnight oats a couple of times. They're ok but I just hate when they add up to like a 500 cal breakfast!  Not adding yogurt, peanut butter, or using almond milk helps.


Yesterday was our first day back at church since we lost the baby. I really did have a great week and felt more like myself than I have in a while, I think my hormones have leveled out again. Church was harder than I expected, i'm just going to leave it at that.  Everyone was kind and had good intentions. Some people from the ward "heart attacked" our door with kind little notes and cookies. It was so sweet of them! And I was grateful, that made me cry! Thanks :)