Monday, October 28, 2013

Counting Days

Oh my heck these last weeks of the deployment have been torture! I think part of is that I  can finally let my guard down and open my heart again.  I don't have to protect it so that it doesn't ache so much that he's gone or leaving again. I find myself switching back and forth between excitement that we are almost done to overwhelming sadness that I don't have him with me in that moment. We have been together for 9 months and apart for 9 months. This deployment has been looming and hovering over or marriage for too long in its short life.  I can't wait to hold him and just know its over. Part of the problem too is that i'm so bored here. I just am marking off days on the calendar! Its been easy too to finally admit to myself that i'm tired of this because it's almost over. That I can't do it alone anymore because I don't have to!  And I want SO badly to share our precious son with him! It kills me when I experience those sweet moments with our little baby and think of Danny missing it! Soon soon soon almost!  I feel like a crazy person.... ;P

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