Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Goodbye April!!!!

Five more weeks! May is my last full month of pregnancy whoo hoo!!! And I get to see Danny in May :) we are planning on him coming may 30th.  I'm so ready to see him! Its been way too long. Hopefully everything works out with him being here for the birth and getting to spend some time with our new little son.

I had the ultrasound yesterday to find out why Rowan was measuring big.  And everything was FINE! haha he was 5 lbs and 13 oz so he'll probably be around 8-9 lbs at birth if their little formula was correct and he doesn't come late...annnnd I hope he doesn't. Because then Danny wont get much if any time with him and i'm in pain a lot of the time sooo yeah! My fluid was fine too, meaning within the normal ranges so I don't know why he's measuring big haha but oh well at least everything is fine!  I was so excited to see him on the ultrasound again, he covered his face with his hands the last two i've had.  But, he covered it again! And the tech was going so fast that by the time I figured out what I was looking at she'd moved on anyway.  Everything looked good though- heart, brain, kidneys... toesies and he's still a little boy! It was strange to see how big he is now.  We love him and can't wait to meet him!

I also saw my cardiologist yesterday and he said I was ok to deliver! :) So that was also good news, it was a good day.  I'm going to a high risk specialist in Idaho Falls tomorrow at the recommendation of the OB's at seasons medical... she's going to take what the cardiologist said and kind of come up with a plan for safest labor and things.  My cardiologist was confident everything would be fine but he just wasn't sure about how medications would affect labor, about using forceps and things... I think she's also going to say whether or not I should deliver in Rexburg at all! We'll see how that goes. One other question the cardiologist answered for me was if I can/should have more kids.  He said he thought I would be fine to have more children in the future.  Overall it was a good news day!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

34 Weeks

Hey everyone! First things first, if you haven't already heard I am now living in Rexburg at Central Park Apartments next to Frontier Pies.  For some of you that means i'm closer and others... i'm further away :( ....

I had another baby appointment Monday.  Rowan's non-stress test looked great! But, he is measuring big- 39 cm when he should be around 33-35 cm.  So they're going to check his size and fluid on Monday with an ultrasound.  Either way... i'm SO excited to see him again!!!! :D The last two we had he covered his little face and I couldn't see what he looked like.  They even went 4D for a min both times and I couldn't see him so i'm looking forward to that.  The midwife also checked to make sure his head was down and sure enough he's in the right position! I can't believe how close its getting.  Monday I am also seeing the cardiologist to find out how he recommends I deliver.   Whether that's just having me have an epidural so i'm not as stressed, or not pushing while they remove him with suction or forceps, or a c-section.  I'm sure everything will be fine though it will just be nice to know what he says.  And to find out what the ultrasound shows.... Monday is kind of a big day!

Danny and I are planning (for now) on him coming May 28th.  This could still change... depending on what they say/find monday but for now that's the plan! I'm so ready to see him! He will have been deployed for almost 4 months by then, and we won't have seen one another for 4.5 months.  Too long! We're so excited.  It's getting to that point where we can finally see the light at the "end" of the tunnel. 34 days!!!!! :D

Danny is doing great, his schedule was changed to days again so we get to talk to one another twice a day.  His mornings are my evenings so that's usually brief but i'm still glad we get to say goodnight.  He's still adjusting... and he just got called in while he was getting ready for bed! But he's doing well.  He's being a good example and has had more opportunities to share the gospel and i'm so proud!

Thursday, April 18, 2013


WOW! My friend Lindsey shared this article with me after reading my last blog post.  There is a lot of great info in here! It mentions tools to help you monitor your body for ovulation and  there are apps too to help women keep track of these things. Its really neat.  Some complain about going off the pill or removing an IUD because its so easy to use and they don't know if they can "do" the other methods........ but I believe in a God of miracles, if he can move mountains he can DEFINATLY help you in family planning!  Annnnnnnnd I'll probably eat crow when I get pregnant while trying to do one of these someday.. but if it happens its probably  cause I slacked! :P  But really, at what cost do we use these (synthetic hormonal drugs and IUD's) methods? Especially if we're truly pro-life?



Update: check out the free fertility app called My Days! 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Some Food for Thought...

PREFACE: This is about Birth Control. So if that bothers you read no further.

{I am blogging this because I found some things out that I feel many women may not know! And they bothered me. Also- Please understand that I do not in any way judge you for your chosen method of family planning.  This is just what I found and my decisions based on my beliefs about creation/life.  I wanted to share what I found just in case there were other women out there who would possibly be making different decisions if they knew. Knowledge is power.}

Hey! Lately I have been thinking about birth control options for after the baby, as i'm sure many of you can relate to! Especially if you have had difficult pregnancies and/or been up all night with new babies. At any rate, I have never been very... keen on the idea of the pill because I had had so many friends warm me about their negative affects on them. And I just wasn't really excited to have something manipulate my hormones chemically.  At any rate, when we were engaged Danny and I discussed our options and I agreed to "try" the pill.  When he came to propose we saw a Doctor together and I started a pill- I don't remember what it was.  Sure enough it made me crazy.  I was having irrational thoughts, migraines almost daily,  being ornery, emotional, and depressed.  Finally on the day I started wondering if I had a brain tumor (irrational thoughts lol) I called Danny and asked him how i'd been the past two weeks. His response? "Honestly you've been really mean." This broke my heart and we decided it wasn't at all worth it.  When we got married we just used contraceptives for the first couple of months (not very religiously) and didn't really bother after that because we were so excited to start our family......

Fast forward to today.  I have started looking into options again, maybe an IUD? From what I understand they still use hormones but because they're inside the amount that ends up in your blood stream is much less than the pill, that may work! After looking around a bit I was interested in finding out about two- Mirena and the Nuva Ring. So last night, when I couldn't sleep I read up on them.  I first found out that Mirena does three things to prevent Pregancy: A- may stop ovulation B- Increases cervical mucous to prevent sperm from entering/ reaching an egg and C- messes with the uterine lining so a FERTILIZED EGG cannot attach.  So.... those fertilized eggs still happen? How often? Eh, they don't know. But, you're not pregnant so everyone is happy.  So for me, being pro life and believing that the life has begun unfolding once sperm and egg meet.... this was out.  I looked at Nuva Ring- same thing.  Then the more I looked, the more I found that both are considered abortifacients.  Because they prevent a fertilized egg from attaching.  As i continued to research I found out that ALL birth control pills work basically that same way! I had NO idea!!!!  Most of them do the same thing, they are in fact no better than a morning after pill! Both IUD's and oral birth control, overall, even if it is their third line of defense prevent a fertilized egg from attaching to the uterine wall.  I read that a number of years ago people weren't even sure how they worked.  Now, with scientific improvements they KNOW but don't TELL because 1/2 of the population is pro life and would NOT be taking them if they knew this was happening! The companies that sell them would lose a lot of money.

Discovering this kind of horrified me.  I know all of you pro-life women would never consider taking a morning after pill.  Neither would I .... and now I will not be taking or using any oral birth control or IUD.  Basically... anything that manipulates hormones.  There is just not enough evidence to back up that an egg isn't released or fertilized.  This is my decision based on what I discovered, your choices are your own, I just thought maybe, like me, most women didn't even know this.  Go ahead and research for yourself.

UPDATE (October 2013)

So I went to see my OBG today, been having cramping randomly during the month, week before period, week after... so I went and he suggest I be put on BC.  I said well.... from what i've researched and understand... it doesn't prevent a fertilized egg from happening just from implanting...? Right? First he rolled his eyes and said "You know, that happens all the time naturally with un protected sex right?" I said yeah! But "naturally!" I didn't do something to get rid of it. He said true, but its supposed to stop ovulation, and increase cervical mucous. I said yes, and also if those two fail it changes the uterus lining to prevent an egg from attaching right? He said yeah, thats possible. Dunno. *Shrug.* Then he explained that mainly DUI's are the worst for that.  The pill a possible second worst (he said they haven't been able to prove it doesn't) and then lastly the shot is the only one that is MOST likely to actually prevent an egg from being released at all. He said that the shot basically shuts everything down. That it was still "possible" that it could happen but the least likely form of hormonal bc (not a barrier) to actually prevent fertilization was the shot. But that it also alters the lining of the uterus, so if one slips through it can't attach either. I'm not sure what to do with this information.  I'm not comfortable with injecting synthetic hormones and chemicals but, i'm glad that I had a professional KIND OF "clear" things up a little. In the end I think it comes down to the holy ghost and being prayerful about what ya choose to do or not do.  I've been reading a lot about the methods of tracking and just using barriers during ovulation.  The more I read the more its clear that its not a very good way to prevent things. That nobody's body is spot on and that it can even differ from month to month! And that there are only a couple of days that you CAN'T conceive- at all. Anyway- if I have offending any of ya ever on this topic I apologize.  I hope the doc is right about the shot,  I don't plan on using it at this point still but with my heart condition down the road if pregnancy were to threaten my life i'd have to be more cautious, glad to know that at least one kind is more "sure" to prevent an egg from being released than others.

Update: I've asked  a few more doctors and learned basically the same thing. I've noticed though sites I visit are less and less clear about how it actually works and what the risks are. And that the info "changes." A lot of methods of BC are evolving or newer to the market. Thus, more research is being done and more side effects are popping up. Personally that makes me nervous :) 

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

32 Weeks

I have been wanting to post for a while but I don't know what to say!  First of all, i'm 32 weeks along! And YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! 8 more to go! I cannot wait to meet our baby boy and to see Danny.  I don't know which i'm more excited for, it may seem like a no brainer that I should be happier to meet our baby but I have missed Danny so terribly I am just beyond excited for both!  Second, I'm so glad that pregnancy won't last forever and that i'll get a new little person, OUR little person, Rowan out of this.  It has been hard.  I feel like every day is hard, and every week presents new physical challenges and stresses!  I really hope to be in better health next time we try for a baby.

32 Weeks Prego
 Doing this without Danny here has been especially difficult, nobody takes better care of me than he does.  I do have to say though... he has been as absolutely fantastic from afar as possible. He's really impressed me with the effort that he's made to support me and i'm constantly overwhelmed with gratitude for how he shows his love and support from afar. (Even when i'm being snotty.)  He sends me video clips on the Couple App we have (awesome app by the way) telling me goodnight  and that he loves me and he always says "I love you too baby Rowan." He has been reading my HypnoBirthing book I sent him, :) and he even did a recording of one of the scripts for me! He did a great job and I cannot tell you how comforting and relaxing it is to listen to the script in his voice. I struggle to sleep at all most nights and it has helped me to relax better. He even changed "your" baby in the script to "our" baby.  His idea. :) He's so excited to meet our son, it makes me really happy.
Danny kissing the "Megan Pillow" he
got in the mail for Valentines Day goodnight.

Deployment has been a challenge for us both.  It's easy for us to see how marriages can crumble.  Sometimes it's harder for us to communicate than it would just be to ignore each other, not because we don't want anything to do with one another but because we're tired of talk, frustrated with our situation, annoyed with malfunctioning technology, living completely separate lives and emotionally and physically exhausted.  For him it seems sometimes it would  be easier to put home life on hold and do his thing.  I'm grateful for the effort he makes to always talk to me, even when i'm so sick of this I don't want to try and just cry instead or am angry.  I don't know how some couples do this over and over. I know neither of us are weak and that if we HAD to we could do it.... but something about US just doesn't work in this.  Maybe our love languages? I'm not sure... but if you've ever been around us you know we're always close, always holding hands and very much involved in every minute of one another's day. We would rather hang out with one another and do something we both enjoy together 99% of the time.  Haha, Danny was complaining about how nasty the pizza was he tried the other day... I said we'd be sure to go out for some good pizza while he was on leave! At first he was really excited, then he said, "Well, actually babe i'd rather just cook with you." That's just how we are!  BTW.... he's been pumping iron....... and even in just two months he's gotten a LOT bigger! It has started to intimidate me a little! Especially when I am just getting chubbier and more stretched out by the min! ( Actually, I have only gained 15 lbs the entire pregnancy! Go me.) But really. He looks great!   I'm intimidated until he sends me a pic of him in his floppy hat. Or mustache. Ew. :D
Sweetie :) 

(Haha sorry if you don't like this pic up babe, i'll take it down if you want :) it just makes me laugh and I couldn't put up one of your buff hunky ones- those are for my eyes only!!!)

Danny has been doing a great job of being a good example in living the Gospel where he is.  And its being noticed, and respected.  I'm so proud of him! Danny doesn't swear, or talk about other women or participate in a lot of activities that are commonly accepted.  People have noticed and are looking up to him.  Its really awesome, he's had some opportunities to share some of what we believe too.  How he talks about me and our marriage and relationship seems to also have made an impact on those around him- that marriage can be a really awesome thing.   And that husbands and wives CAN honor one another with complete fidelity.   Even from afar.  Danny has a much softer and loving way of explaining our beliefs, he keeps it simple. I'm proud of him and think that he will have more opportunities to share the Gospel while he is there.

Anyway, I could gush about him for hours. Its the next best thing to seeing him or talking to him- talking about him. I miss him so much!

Baby Stuffs:

We had our first non-stress test today because of Rowan's two vessel/single artery cord and he sounded perfect! He's measuring great, and moving a lot. I will be doing those once a week from here on out.  I still am sick and will throw up pretty violently if I don't have zofran... weird for this late.  We had a mishap a few weeks ago with a misplaced/thrown away/lost bottle of a months worth of pills.  Its been an insurance nightmare.  I was so sick I burst a blood vessel in my eye! I couldn't even keep down my own stomach bile. I have had to pay for it out of pocket so far.  Other than that more IC pain and spasms, painful back aches, heartburn... the usual :D

I have been a little discouraged about the birth lately.  I just am really beginning to realize I can't control at all if Danny will be there or not, its all up to this little baby.  We even discussed him coming sooner and being induced at like 39-40 weeks, but that doesn't go along at all with what kind of birth I want and it raises the risk of c-section by 50%.  The midwives are strongly against it and won't do it before 41 weeks anyway.   It's just extremely difficult plan for this when Danny only has 2 weeks to work with.  We're going to stick to our original plan though of him coming at the very end of May a few  days before the due date, unless Rowan comes early and we get a Red Cross message out to Danny. He just wants to be able to spend a few days with his little son.  We also would like a few us days before the baby comes but who knows!

I have also been somewhat discouraged/confused about my health care.  A couple of weeks ago I started wondering if I should maybe switch to an OB instead of the midwives.  Just because of my health problems and Rowan's cord, I wanted to make sure we were in the best hands possible.  I prayed about it and felt like I should stay with the midwives, it didn't make sense to me.  But already being 31 weeks... then I had a nurse in the ER kind of chastise me for seeing them instead of an OB.  I kept saying I felt like I should stay, that being my only reason she kept railing me until I physically put my hands up to stop the tirade... this planted a lot of doubt! I tried getting into the best OB in the area (according to ratings) he won't take me because of my insurance.  I made an appointment with the next best one... and kept having people tell me that he is overbooked and doesn't care about or have enough time to care about his patients.  Arrrg. I didn't even get my appointment with him I got it with his nurse practitioner. That appointment was for Thurs. and I had one scheduled with the midwives Tues. My mom kept saying I should just cancel with the midwives.  I decided to go and she came with me.  I was just what I needed.  She answered all of my questions, cleared up some issues I'd had with some responses to things in the past, got right on the ball with Rowan's non-stress test.... and spoke with me frankly about the risks of being induced and let me know that the OB's in their other office were involved with my needs and addressed where I was at with my heart.  I felt SO much better, and having my mom there to also see, and she having felt good as well made a big difference.  So, moving forward!  About the heart... I see the specialist in May, he's just going to make sure it's ok to handle the pushing of labor.  I'm confident it will be fine though.

Rowan's Heart Beat on the Non- Stress Test

HypnoBirthing! Ok. So maybe I have been discouraged about everything in general. Possibly even slightly depressed? Lack of sleep, always feeling crappy, no direction or focus, stuck at home missing my husband.......... it happens.  Because i'm also struggling with being as gung-ho about this as I was before... I just struggle to relax enough to even sleep!!! HOW can I use it in labor if I can't even use it to do something as simple as sleeping...? I also for some reason have an all or nothing mentality in my mind, that's just my nature.  And I have felt that I won't be successful at it without Danny.  I just have doubts! But, at the end of the day, i'm the one who will deliver this baby.  And i'm much stronger than I realize... most of the time.  It doesn't have to be all or nothing  and I just need to keep practicing.  At the end of Danny's script  recording he included a "bonus" track of him expressing his faith in my ability to do this.  How sweet is that? Sometimes wouldn't it be great to just see our selves through another's eyes?  I feel like I need to go back to my instructor and beg her for a fear release session or something. Or just do my positive birthing affirmations more often. Have some faith!

Monday, April 1, 2013

Baby Shower

Hey friends! A lot of you have asked about a baby shower, I think at this point we are going to have a co-ed bbq party/baby shower when Danny comes home right before the baby is due, i'm thinking June 1.  I just want to have fun with all of my friends and have a fun time with our spouses.  I know this may be difficult for some of you that are single but because Danny hasn't been able to be involved much in the pregnancy and preparing for the baby it will be a great way for him to get in baby mode, celebrate and to welcome him back home for a bit! Plus, he said he wants a hamburger ;P I mentioned to some I kind of wanted to do a building baby's library as gift thing- where everyone just brings a book for their present.... but I have had some not  be so receptive to that idea so I think that's out!  Anyway, all of this is banking on that i'm still pregnant June 1 with baby due June 2, and Danny being able to be here in time for the birth! We'll see... :D