Continuing Clean

We have continued to make an honest effort to eat clean, one thing that i've noticed is that a lot of the recipes out there for clean eating are TERRIBLE! I know enough about baking that when I see a recipe calls for two TBS of baking powder I kind of raise my eye brows, follow the recipe anyway (my general rule is follow it exactly the first time, sometimes I get too adventurous and mess things up experimenting and then forget what I did…) and then am super annoyed when it comes out tasting like baking soda. I don't know why people would post something that tastes like crap for other people to make more inedible crap thanks to them. Example no. 1: Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Cookies. SO excited to have some precious chocolate chips in the house and decide to use these sacred morsels of goodness to make a healthy sugar free pumpkin spice yogurt cookie- plus chocolate. :) Mixed em up… bater tasted bitter….. baked them- lovely. I kept wondering if I was getting a pocket of baking soda in my one cookie or something but nope, just the whole thing was terrible.  Another recipe destroyed by baking soda that somebody posted was for clean cornbread. I thought it would go well with some turkey chili! First- I just want to say I think she lied.  The recipe calls for whole wheat flour and hers turned out way too light to have used that (from her photo's.) Anyway- if you saw my Facebook post it turned out horribly.  Burned, baking soda flavored crap. I had to throw it away and start over! Mine turned out like this…. and I added some greek yogurt to make it a little more moist. Sheesh.

Since I wasn't getting the weight loss results I wanted from clean eating alone I was considering calorie counting when I ran across a blog called http://www.runsforcookies.com . It was so inspiring! The author, Katie, lost a ton of weight counting calories for her first 50 lbs and ran and counted for the rest.  I was excited because of her attitude towards weight loss. Only doing things and making changes (today) you can do for a lifetime. And that includes not giving up the things you love to eat… like cookies. But exercising and watching your caloric intake. That makes it sound too easy but if you're counting calories it's not "that" easy. But, away, good ol' diet and exercise. Just a different more long term and livable approach. I have been tracking calories through SparkPeople for the last 4 days and it's been harder to stay within my limit range than I thought it would be! I realized that even though we were eating healthy foods we were eating too much of them. Those little calorie buggers add up fast! But it's been good. I'm down 3 lbs (even though it's the same 3 i've lost and gained 5 times since we moved here) it's a start. I suppose my last accountability post had some good results on my responsibility to self… and you all. :) My goal is also to do some form of exercise no matter how long or anything 4 times a week. Until I'm more confident and capable and then i'll start stepping it up.

On a Different Note: Life

Things have been going well! It takes time to get back into the groove of life after being separated for so long. The fights have become few and far between and we seem to be back in sync with one another. We really enjoy the time we spend together as a family, and it's a good thing too because so far we haven't spent much time with anyone else…. haha but seriously.  The other day we watched a movie and Rowan sat between us, a rare occasion for him to be content just sitting! It was so nice and fun to just do something as a little family!
 Danny is on swings and that hasn't been too fun. I just try to have a cooked breakfast together or have "dinner" ready by lunch time so we can sit down and share a meal before he goes. I read a post on fb the other day from someones blog about asking more meaningful questions to get more meaningful answers. I've been trying to do that with Danny when we lie down at night and talk about our day…. usually we ask one another what their "FPD" was (favorite part of the day, tradition adopted from a roommate at carriage house I just can't remember which…) Danny always says "Just hanging out with you babe." And I always ask "Which part of hanging out with me was your favorite?' So I've been asking "When did you feel most loved today?" It's probably annoying but I enjoy hearing his answers. And makes me realize I need to step it up if he didn't really have any moment to share.  Last nights made me laugh! I had seen people make overnight oats in a peanut butter jar to use up the last bits and I thought it was a good idea. Where I went wrong was throwing in some quinoa. I thought it would… I don't know soak up some moisture overnight? Well, not at all duh. So my oatmeal was nasty gluey mush that tasted like raw chewy quinoa. Danny doesn't really love oatmeal anyway so I felt bad and got him an apple too while I kept saying "well it's good for us…" his moment during the day when he felt most loved? When his wife handed him nasty mush oatmeal and felt bad it was gross and gave him half an apple! ;P 

RowRow is growing and growing! He's getting so chubby! He's stopped sleeping and eating for a little bit… i'm not sure at all how he's growing. He eats big people food sometimes and finger foods on his tray. Usually just because he wants to be independent. It's not until he's had some self feeding time that I can get any of his baby foods in him.  Grahm crackers are his fav. He just turned eight months a few days ago! We should have a crawler on our hands soon! He doesn't like floor time much though :( and still no teeth! With how badly he sleeps its not surprise he was growing but I Thought surely we'd see a tooth! Oh well.  He's going to be such a handful once he becomes mobile! He loves getting into all things electric and pounding on keyboards is his favorite. :) We love him dearly! NOthing makes me happier than seeing how much Danny adores his little bubba and seeing that reflected right back in his son's eyes. Awww i'm soooo cheesy.

THE DREADED POST

UGH! I hate that I promised you people I would hold myself accountable to my promises to get healthy.  Obviously It hasn't been going that well or i'd be bragging about it instead of posting pictures of  furniture…..
We are doing pretty well at eating clean- most days. We were hard core for a few weeks… but then we run out of grocery money and eat mac and  cheese for a week. Then we eat clean for a few after getting paid and then are back on ramen and called beans. Soooo sigh, we decided ok, we can't go all hard core on this clean eating, (meaning completely organic, all fresh, no processed foods) and focus more on health so that we can make it week to week. So now we eat canned beans now and then and boxed granola or cherrios. I'm still cooking as clean and as healthy as possible. And we still aren't having treats. Or we will have clean pumpkin "cookies".  Anyway- I haven't lost any weight really. I did at  first, when we went cold turkey off of sugar and started eating clean I lost 5 lbs and NO more. So frustrating. After slipping some during the holidays we decided to kick off the new year by doing a juice fast and cleanse. We watched Fat Sick and Nearly Dead (a juicing and weight loss documentary) on netflix about 4 times. I was SO excited! I couldn't wait to jump start some weight loss, and hopefully improve my health problems! Specifically- pre-dibates and Interstitial Cystitis.  We got on Joe's juicing website and found out he was doing a little juice fast thing online… we thought hey! Perfect timing! We signed up to juice with Joe!  (Everyone say hello to Joe…)

Joe

We bought a Briville juicer. It is AMAZING. And we didn't even get the most expensive one.  Before our 3 day juice fast started we bought all the veggies and spent some time preparing them for juicing and put them in bags for specific juice recipes. That way we'd have them all ready to go and not be tempted to grab something else. The next morning after  Danny left for work I took 1-2-3 sips of my morning orange drink and BAM! Almost blacked out.  What they don't mention on FSND is that juicing isn't that great  for people struggling to control blood sugar. If you have  diabetes or are pre-diabetic or have hypoglycemia it is NOT the thing for you!! Unless you ONLY drink GREEN VEGETABLES. Personally i'd rather just eat them. What happens is when you juice fruits and veggies you remove all of the fiber and end up dumping a ton of natural sugar, in a quickly digestible form right into your blood stream. Sugar, natural, processed, refined, whatever is still sugar and your body reacts the same to it. So my blood sugar spiked and then crashed really fast. I had the worst migraine i'd had in years that day, was so dizzy I couldn't walk, puked.. parts went numb yeah. I had to have Danny come home from work. I was so disappointed.  I've had trouble being committed ever since. We have tried some of P90X but it's WAY too advanced for me. And Danny tries to lead me in some exercises but everything he tells me to do is physically impossible at this weight. Both just frustrate me and make me feel like a failure. My allergies have been horrible so outdoors is not really an option.  I did a little research on workout videos and found some good advice. If you are a beginner you should look for "beginner" level instructional videos that are in small say 10 min segments. I found a few online but money is tight so we got a used one from 2nd and Charles. I found this little gem….
 The Best Workouts Ever… Cardio. Yaaay. Yes, this is as lame as it sounds. BUT! It's 10 min segments for beginners so I figured that might work for me. It had bad reviews, some of the instructors aren't very good… but it's what I needed in most aspects. I did it today and it was easy enough I could do it but still got my heart rate up and challenged me. YAY! I worked out. 

Table Project LOVE

Remember this can of paint from my last post? I found a piece of furniture within my budget I could use it on!

 BEFORE

I got this table on the Augusta's Online Yard-sale FB page 25$ 

Real wood… but had a very thick kind of varnish coating on top! Took me so long to sand the sucker down! I can't wait until I can get an electric sander! 

Here's after being painted…

AFTER

And here's the final product! Sanded, painted, Distressed, stained, and waxed! Yeah… no longer selling :) I like it too much! So hopefully I can find another piece to use that paint on! 

New Apartment Projects I LOVE

    Shabby Chic Dresser 

 Ahhhhh! I'm kicking myself for not posting a before picture of this early 1900's dresser. Wah wah waaaaah. We got in on craigslist (solid oak) for 70$. Not going to lie even though I bought it specifically  as a project piece for Rowan's room I was really feeling like I'd spent too much and should have looked further… until I painted and antiqued it! (Please, don't judge me for the sin of painting oak.)  Jaimee found this paint for me while I was pregnant and Danny was deployed. Clearance bin I believe? It's Chalkboard paint. I had originally wanted to use it on his wooden cradle. Buuuut time went by, Danny was gone, and it finally made its way to the top of the to-do list. :) 

How I did it:

1. Remove hardware and lightly sanded then wiped down wood.

2. One layer of chalkboard paint, I painted it pretty streakily specifically missing corners. Let dry fully.

3. Sanded down corners ands wear area's. 

4. Rubbed with watered down stain to give worn/dirty look. Let dry.

5. Covered with wax, let stand 20 min and buffed off with a soft cloth.

6. Stained handles and re-attach hardware. 

 I did it this color to match a quilt my mom made for Rowan. His room is … loosely based on these colors. :) Well… what we have for it so far is! Poor bubba his little room has become storage/office as well. But here it is! Couldn't be happier. :)

Future Project? I just had to share this lovely dusty coral paint I found …1 gallon for 5$.  I want to do more furniture pieces but haven't had luck finding any for a decent price. 

Soooo… we have had our eyes peeled for the perfect entertainment center dresser  for a long time. If you check out my "for the home" board on pinterest you will find a number of inspiration pieces! I really wanted to do a bright coral color to bring some color to our living room color scheme. Danny's dad offered to buy us something for Christmas when he visited so we went out to hunt for good solid wood pieces to use. We looked quite a few places, most were in poor condition, pressed wood and overpriced. I was getting a little discouraged when we ran into this….

Yeah! Basically just what I wanted! ALREADY done. lol That's what we got. I love it. It looks great in our living room! Danny was really excited about the prospect of converting it into an entertainment center. He removed the top  two faces from their drawers then attached hinges and latches. He then Attached ribbons on the side to support the doors when opened and stained the interior. Love it! Perfect for electronic storing and Rowan won't be able to get into a bunch of open shelves. And it looks nice to be able to close it.  :) 

My Stance on Heterosexual Marriage

In recent years we as members of the church have fought to keep and declare the definition of marriage as a union between men and women.  In spite of those efforts law makers are still moving and have moved in some states, to legalize gay marriage. The fight has changed from "What is marriage? " to "What is your stance on gay marriage?" Well let me tell you...

MY STANCE ON HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE.

I am a daughter of God. I in was created by God in His image. I have a divine nature and destiny that involves my potential as a wife and mother. Being female has been a part of my identity before I was born and will continue to be after I die.  My husband was also created in God's image. He has been male since before this world was and being male is part of his divine heritage just as much as being female is part of mine.

My stance on heterosexual marriage is that it is an institution created and ordained by God.  That being married, having families, and raising children are part of Gods divine purpose and plan for each of us. That when the family falls apart society falls apart.  God created us male and female and meant for us to be together.

Part of my divine potential as a female is being a wife. I was commanded, by God to marry a man.  To leave my parents and "cleave" to a spouse and be as one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) Marriage between a man and a woman is an institution created by God to perpetuate His plan involving eternal families. I believe in marriage and was married to my sweetheart in 2012.  I was created to be a part of him just as he was to be a part of me. Neither is man without the woman nor woman without the man. Spiritually, physically, and forever- my literal other half.

Another part of my divine right to womanhood is having and raising children. I and my husband, as married man and woman. were commanded by God to " be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth." (Genesis 1:27-28)  To me, this is an integral part what marriage means. It is fulfilling our duty to raise spirit sons and daughters. As such my husband and I had our first son 8 months ago.  This little chubby, drooly person is our whole world! He is part of both of us, and he, is also a son of God.

When I think about my stance on heterosexual marriage I think of this face. Because without heterosexual relations, in marriage, it would not exist.  Our son had the right to be born. He has the right to be born to a man and a woman who are married. He has the right to be loved and cared for, to have his spiritual, educational, physical and social needs met. He has the right to be part of a family as God intended. I believe in this face.  I believe that he was meant to be here and that having married, male and female parents gives him his very best chance at life.  My husband and I have a duty to this little person to honor our marital vows.  When society stops believing in family as a man and woman bound in marriage raising children our culture, country, and family's are in jeopardy.

 The Family A Proclamation to the World calls upon us to uphold, fight for and to strengthen the family as the "fundemental unit of society."  I believe that it is the fundamental unit of society and that its roots are in heterosexual marriage.

Back in GA

So here we are... again, back in GA.  Boy are we glad we didn't buy a house after all, nuff said.  The drive here was expensive and stressful, especially with all of the tornado warnings.  What was meant to be our last day driving ended up being our second to last day because of how many times we had to stop and take shelter while the tornado got a ways ahead of us. We were basically chasing it all day. It was scary. I just wanted to stop at a motel and call it quits until I felt safe.  But we stayed on top of the zones that were the most dangerous and proceeded with caution one mile at a time. Rowan did MUCH better than we had anticipated. I'm proud to report we never had to give him any medication to make him drowsy. The first day or two he cried for about an hour strait and then for the rest of the drive he was just fine. We did our best to keep him fed and he took naps when he got drowsy.  Oh, and we also owe some credit to the movie Rio- which he watched about 10 times. :)

We have  been here for almost a month now. Danny returned to work this week.  It took us a while to get everything set up and unpacked and organized.  It took us a little longer to adjust to being together again. But we knew it was normal and that it would just take time. Now that our home is set up and we are back in the groove as a couple and learning to be a family things are going well! Danny is the best Daddy, i'm so tempted to just sit back and let him do EVERYTHING haha, but seriously. Its helped him to learn Rowan's little patterns and for Rowan to begin to trust his Daddy as a caregiver who meets his needs as well as mommy.  By the time Danny went back to work though I could tell Rowan was wanting some mommy time.  :)

Eating Clean

So we started our journey towards living a healthier lifestyle just like we promised. We have become as close to "clean" eaters as possible. We cut out sugar for most of our drive here as the first step and then made sure our first big shopping trip here was focused on clean, organic, natural foods. Or REAL food.  I can honestly say that it has been kind of fun! We are trying all sorts of new foods and experimenting with how to cook them.  I was SO intimidated for that first shopping trip. I had no idea where to start!  Pinterest is a wonderful resource! I found pins of first shopping lists for clean eaters and read some basic guidelines and off we went. Danny finally learned how to say quinoa and I can type it now without having to look it up! We haven't been perfect at it… but we are honestly trying.  I've already lost about 5 lbs. My clothes are already fitting better and I feel so accomplished when I go to bed knowing that for that day I did everything I could to better myself and to be healthy.  I can already tell when I taste foods that have been so loaded with chemicals and processes…I don't like them as much anymore.  For example- Its cold these days and I love hot chocolate. So we decided to get some sugar  free mix (even though its not at ALL  clean..) it was disgusting. I could taste so much artificial crap it grossed us both out. Shouldn't have bought it in the first place! Live and learn. Some of our favorite things so far have been-
Breakfast: Fruit and yogurt parfaits, oat protein powder pancakes, chocolate banana oatmeal, peach protein shakes and almonds, homemade coconut almond butter cranberry granola bars, spinach and fresh parmesan omelets.

Lunch: Leftovers from dinner! :)

Dinner: Baked egg rolls, Blackened  chicken pizza, 15 bean soup, baby spinach salad with cranberries and pistachios,  black bean soup, tacos, bbq chicken wraps with garlic roasted edamame, (you can find clean dressings and condiments at health food stores we just use them in moderation.)

Snacks: apples, granola bars, almonds, veggies, guacamole and clean chips, air popped pop corn with coconut oil..

Treats? YES. :) I made CLEAN fudge. STill excited about it. I just can't believe how yummy it was.  As soon as I started feeling guilty for having a treat I would go through my ingredient list again and realize basically everything in it was a superfood! And I have made clean hot chocolate from slack couple of times.

So as you can see…. we haven't been starving by any means! Most of what we have eaten has been substation. And buying clean foods to cook with.  Using plain yogurt has been a great substation for so many things, - ranch dressing (with seasonings), in guacamole, as sour cream.. yeah.

So the food has been fun, and a lot more work to cook from scratch all the time. My biggest weakness is still exercise.  I've finally started my zumba dad's.. still on the instructional one learning the moves! And I have been doing the stretch dvd from p90x haha… yeah… all I can do from their program is the stretching lol but it's a start. I have been doing some of the exercises recommended for after birth - tummies. 

Oh man!

Oh man! So I think I just had a breakthrough and it's the scariest one yet! I have been thinking and thinking and losing sleep over how I  can make my next attempt at weight loss the LAST attempt, a real change, a real focus on heath and something that really works this time.  Some of you saw my post on self love (having a healthy self  concept), I haven't finished it yet but it's been a topic on my mind in relation to weight loss.  When I look back I always did things for the wrong reason and had bad habits replaced by obsessive, extreme just AS bad habits! And I still had my self concept tied to the numbers on the scale.  So I ran across a show (I really should say sat on my butt across a show) that came on hulu after biggest loser today called extreme weight loss. The girl this episode was about was named Jami.  After seeing the trainer and deciding to lose the weigh she acted the EXACT same way as I did.  She stopped eating enough, and obsessing about her weight loss.. losing the weight but at an unhealthy rate and nothing in her HEAD was changing. That's what i've been looking for is how to change what's going on my head to make a lasting change.  The trainer recognized these red flags and decided to do something he had never done before. He threw the weight loss goals out the window! On a show called Extreme Weightless! He replaced them with fitness goals. At the exact same moment that I was texting Danny that I thought that's what we needed to do he said the same thing! I cannot tell you how scary this is to me. It's COMPLETELY out of my comfort zone! Even at my lowest weight and "healthiest"  the most I ever ran was 6 miles I think and I only did it once. Anyway, totally terrified but I think this is what I really need. It makes sense to me, it speaks  truth to my heart and feels right in my mind. This is the girl who has dreams about being able to run without getting  tired. Isn't that what I have really been searching for?  I don't have skinny dreams I have health dreams. I made cookies today. I just threw them away haha :)